Choice is a Crucial Ingredient in Non-Violence
I’ve been part of a conversation about authenticity and transparency over the last week with Sarah Dopp which has led to a very spot-on Venn diagram of transparency vs authenticity - the overlap is choice.
I’m excited about the clarity this provides. I think it also points to a more general Venn:
When we can all let each other make our own choices about how we get our needs met, whether the need is for authenticity or privacy or something else, then we’ll stop arguing about the “proper” or “right” way to be doing things, and we’ll all get along better.
This is why I love NVC: you see someone’s strategy, and if it bothers you, you then become curious and guess what need they are meeting. Something like this, “OH, so when you choose to not be transparent, you are meeting your need for privacy?”. Then you get to have a conversation where you are curious about where the other person is at and why they are doing what they are doing. Bingo, authentic connection.
We can all be vibrantly alive and happy. Here I discuss the ideas and tools that will get us there.
YES!
[…] McCreary of Joy Ninja took my Elisa Camahort Page-inspired Venn Diagram about authenticity and transparency and made it […]
i also really liked the other comment in sarah’s blog:
Finally, Melinda Klayman boiled it down to the point: “Authenticity is about meaning what you say. Transparency is about saying what you mean.”
transparency allows me to have trust in whether someone is authentic.
I tend to agree, I certainly feel a sense of openness, comfort, and safety among people who are open, direct, and share themselves with me. I really enjoy those kinds of connections.
But on the other hand I want to respect everyone’s choices too, and understand when people choose various levels of transparency because of what is going on in them and their own needs.